The Last Hour
Been so weak and apathetic lately. To end it all or continue striving. The angst is getting out of control. My dark mind overpouring with dark intentions. Had my bathe, dressed to kill, put on some expensive cologne as I proceed to take my final sit, in a dimly lit room.
Taking what is very likely my last wine , a cigar on my right hand, ink on the left, pondering on the last note. My mind is dark and blurry, focused only on murder of self or suicide if you will.
The cigar stick is now on the table, the ash tray ignored. I would be on a different plane in a few, so of what use is the decor. They could all burn to the ground for all I care. As I was about to down them pills…A shimmer of light came through, I had a flashback to when I was so happy and ready to take on the world. The flashback created an unexpected hesitation.
In the midst of the hesitation, wifey came in the house bragging loudly to one of her uncountable friends on the phone; “he is such a good husband, he makes it so easy to be in love”. That was all I needed to hear in my hour of misery to make a 360 on my decision. There is still hope. There is still life. This depression would not be the end of me. A flare of hope is not enough but I would cling onto it like a parasite does to a host. I would cling on and work harder on my body, on my mind, on my dealings, on my surroundings, till I have a whole Inferno of hope burning in my mind and soul willing to live everyday after the other till my last due to old age preferably. I would keep taking one step after the other. A day after the other and not be overwhelmed.
There is life so there is still hope. Her assurance was the light I desperately needed in this dark tunnel. Till this day I have never been as empty as I was in that dreadful moment. She is still unaware of the life she saved that day. I am most grateful to have her in my life.
Be kind to people. You might just save a life. So many people out there are fragile, living on a thin rope and looking to snap. Smile and be jovial to people, lend a helping hand. Choose to smile rather than frown.
You might just rekindle the hope to live in someone.
Your kindness and warmth might just save a body.
Somebody.
Anybody.
